…the new year, the same you

If nothing else, a new year motivates people to figure out who we want to be. The pen scrawls across the paper, listing all the ways we want to improve ourselves. We call them “Resolutions” to remind ourselves how firmly we are committing to pursuing more in the new year. It’s easy to come up with traits we wish we had – to be stronger and better. Then a few weeks later, as every gym in America has realized, the resolve crumbles. All those New Year’s Resolutions are back to being dreams, and heads are back on the pillows as the snooze button resurrects.

Waking up the steadfastness it takes to actually see a resolution to its end does not hinge on the calendar. If there is enough motivation to be better, today is the best time to start – after all, tomorrow never comes. Instead of putting a resolution on a pedestal that requires perfection, the focus should be on the staircase – one step at a time, constantly moving upward. It’s a change in perspective from being those resolutions to being more of them. People who want to get in shape have a predetermined picture of what it would look like to meet that goal, and it usually feels better to quit than to fail. The change comes for people who want to get more in shape, who focus on the current reality and pursue a better version. Ideas outpacing potential are not resolutions – they are dreams.

In a lot of ways, 2017 broke molds people had never recognized. Darker pieces of the puzzle that is humanity crept out of shadows; philosophies thought dead marched down torch-lit avenues; fame became a substitute for credentials; love and hate swirled together. In the midst of the chaos and the half-truths, people forged unbreakable bonds and created impassable divisions. People built false dichotomies, drawing lines in the sand without knowing the beach. Everyone, it seemed, took a side on something.

Yet at the core of the year’s human desecration is a longing for more. People pushed away from other ideas and other groups, clinging more tightly to their own. I realized everyone, deep down, wants to belong. The desire to belong – to matter, to count, and to be wanted – is not itself oppressive. Wanting to be part of something great is what makes us grab the pen and paper every New Year. No matter how last year looked, we want the next year to be better.

For 2018, it’s not going to be about my pedestal dreams – they’re too high up the staircase anyway. This year, the resolve is in doing better for more. This year is about seeing the longing people show – the wanting to be wanted. Taking little steps, continually upward, means opening up to comfort more in the midst of pain, slowing down to listen to more stories, and putting my pride aside to ask for more help. Resolutions are made when something matters, and people matter all year long.