In two days it’s wheels up. The biggest part of studying abroad for a semester is whichever part is next in line. The first things on the list are pacing through security, reaching the correct gate, and grabbing a piece of gum to help with the ear popping. Once the plane is in the air, there is no going back. That is both thrilling and terrifying in the same breath.
And that’s because I’m not ready to fly. The bag is packed and the passport is ready. I have Sour Patch watermelons and a sweatshirt. The checklist is more checks than boxes. Everything is ready, except for me.
I’m not ready to fly because there’s a life that I’m living and getting on that plane means it’s the life that I’m leaving. There are people that I will miss. There are patterns that I will lose. There are bridges that I will burn, whether I want to or not. I’m excited to fly, but I’m not ready.
That’s a beautiful thing. It’s wonderful knowing that there are things worth missing. It’s wonderful knowing that there are people worth missing. Being ready to fly would mean I don’t need to hold on. I will hold on, though. I will embrace new things and new people, though, too. Being ready to fly isn’t about leaving behind the life you live – it’s about stretching (even across the ocean) to hold on to both parts of life.
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Well said. I can honestly say I felt the exact same way when leaving for Ireland. It’s hard knowing there’s comfort that you’re leaving behind, but keep reminding yourself daily that there are wonderful adventures ahead. God has huge plans to stretch and grow you through this journey, and I can say from experience that it will be uncomfortable. I’m sure we will both look back at our study abroad experiences and smile/laugh at ourselves for being so hesitant. Do your best to get excited though. It would be a waste to be so focused on things you are leaving behind instead of enjoying the new things in the present. You will do wonderful, and I’m excited for your adventure!
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